Saturday, October 18, 2008

Naps: A Different Language.

As First Year’s we enter into this world of the unfamiliar that is ‘University life’ and we are bombarded with its current terminology and Varsity Jargon. In a sense we become ‘Alice’ in ‘wonderland’ surrounded buy all sorts of strange and different. These ‘varsity specific’ terms hold many different connotations that first years are ignorant to and therefore they become easy targets to such things as “seal-clubbing” and “naps”.

On the topic of naps, I believe most males see ‘napping’ with girls as an achievement and boast to their res mates about their latest ‘nap’ around the lunch table. Comments and praise is thrown around regarding the success of getting a girl into your bed. However, there exist two sides to a mutual nap and on the other side of the ‘nap’ is the girl, what does she think? Was it too an achievement to her or was it perhaps something more, something meaningful and special? I’d personally dismiss the notion of ‘naps’ being an achievement or accomplishment for girls, as I believe we fall deeper as and with less hesitation than most men. A close friend of mine, currently also in first year had unfortunately experienced the lonely side of naps. Isn’t it ironic how one can spend the entire night with someone, be close with them, and yet still wake up feeling alone and worthless. I have come to the realization and strongly believe in the idea that this notion of ‘naps’ seems to speak many different languages; some people can speak it fluently whilst others remain alien to it and ignorant of its implications. Kaylee, who interpreted ‘naps’ as being the language that spoke of love, was unaware that he in fact interpreted that ‘nap’ as the language that communicated fun and games. “I left his room, knowing that last night meant more to me, than it did to him” she says as she reflects on her first nap. Evidently she had attached meaning to this so called ‘nap over’ whilst for him, it remained just another notch in his belt.

It’s not surprising that most girls, especially first year girls see ‘naps’ as a huge deal. We are constantly told by out parents that ‘University is where you’ll meet your life friends and find your true love”, therefore it is no wonder that most girls fall deeper into this unfair game of love and affection that ‘naps’ is clearly apart of. I see this idea of naps as misleading and something that is nothing close to that of a win/win situation. Ultimately only one party leaves a winner, and usually that party is composed and dominated by men. Therefore if the male is the winner, it’s obvious then that the girl consequently becomes their prize.

Most first year’s have this idea that the first year of University is apparently more fun and enjoyable with no strings attached, and usually those strings represent the people that are pro-relationship. I believe most men in first year live by this unwritten rule, perceiving ‘naps’ as a component of first year fun and nothing more. Due to this, I find that many girls have developed a sort of defense mechanism that allows them to hide what they truly feel by also treating ‘naps’ as an achievement that perhaps meant nothing. By doing this they don’t have to experience the shame and embarrassment that comes along with rejection.

It is therefore evident that I am concerned about the confusion that surrounds the meaning of ‘naps’. What actually does it constitute? Is it an easy way of getting action or does it represent a special moment between two people? How can we define this notion of ‘naps’ and why are girls continuously falling prey to this game. I believe that many first year guys will say anything to make girls believe that staying the night will mean something more the next morning, but the reality is that the morning after is in fact a new day, and most often one wakes to a ‘new’ guy, meaning he is no longer the nice, sentimental, sweet talker from the night before, instead he is the guy that cant remember your name.


nonnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nonnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nonnie said...

Dear Laura

Your piece is based on a touchy subject, which over the years has always favored the female spies due to certain stereotypes associated with men. The facts which you have used are generalizations, lacking hardcore factual references to support your argument and make the argument come across as cliché.

And as a woman in this day and age, one has to be caution in how one carry themselves because ultimately you are what you attract, which compliments what you said about ‘some’ first years viewing the year as a no strings attached period. However you failed to provide concrete evidence to support this statement, as they are many young lovers doing first year who do not support that theory, and maybe adding comments from certain individuals who have had first hand experiences in the situation, would have added substance to the argument.

The fact that you deleted the notion of girls ‘napping’ with guys just to gain a reputation amongst their friends, saddens me because that means you not being realistic, and also reflects that your argument is somewhat bias, as guys can easily draft the same defense mechanism as the one described in your argument, which girls use to protect themselves. It seems like you did not evaluate both sides of the story before drawing your conclusion, you dwell upon the female victims of napping and neglect those that partake freely to napping or even those males who have been victims of ‘napping’ as well. This would have made your point less clouded by personal preference and eliminated the use of stereotypical pointers.

Take care
Nonnie (".)

Anonymous said...

Laura i like the fact that you have touched a subject that most people are afraid to talk about.I mean,I know a couple of guys who find pleasure in commiting such acts. Yes,they do talk about them with their friends. But hey lets not put the blame on guys only. I mean, if you sleep with five guys who are friends, what do you expect? You can't expect them to treat you like a goddess.

Iam very disappointed with your use of generalisations. Not all guys think naps are a great thing. This year , I have managed to turn down five chicks. Four of my male friends are virgins and they do not intend to engage in such activities. The truth is guys also get hurt in the process. I mean you hook up with a chick and you sleep together and then a week later she is at your friend's place.

I think your argument is biased and is against guys. Sis, do a bit of research before shooting innocent male Rhodents.

The Godmother said...

I disagree with your opinion on napping. I asked around ( in case I didn’t have my facts straight), and from what I gather, napping isn’t or shouldn’t be such a big deal. True- some guys take things too far and lure the girls into sex, but I still think, women should take better care of themselves. If you don’t want to get hurt- STAY AWAY FROM GUYS WHO HAVE DOG WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR FACES!!! It is high time women (in first year or otherwise) make better decisions involving their bodies and take responsibility when things don’t work out in the manner they had hoped they would.

LF said...

i agree with your opinion. if a girl decides to have naps she must fully realise that she is throwing herself at the wolves to speak metaphorically. this is of course not the case if she is going to get together with a guy or something besides just a one night stand is in the works. but yes, if it is some random shes picked up in the rat BEWARE.i personnaly disagree with naps-and i agree with you as i think that guys see it as proverbial notch on their belt. girls are not dissimilar at all. i, too, know of quite a few young ladies who think it an to accomplish to sleep or "nap" around.lets just stop being poltically correct, guys are dogs and that is that. if they can get sex from a willing girl who they are attracted to, most guys-and i have this on good authority- will. so watch out ladies. they out to get you!